


you've probably never heard of—

by junietuesday25



Series: #chill summer [5]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Chill Summer, Gen, Slut Shaming, i mean it's about madeline what do you expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 19:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19707925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junietuesday25/pseuds/junietuesday25
Summary: Madeline takes a deep breath, then steps onto the school bus, navigating to the back row of seats, trying to ignore the whispers that pop up around her about "she's such a slut" and "why would Jake Dillinger chooseher."Madeline Durand, on that fateful day of school.





	you've probably never heard of—

**Author's Note:**

> Since Be More Chill is closing on August 11, in celebration of this musical we love, [@american-bodyrentals](https://american-bodyrentals.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr created a [prompt list](https://american-bodyrentals.tumblr.com/post/185987616992/heres-the-prompt-list-i-made-some-people-from) for artists and writers to make a fanwork for Be More Chill every day of July. Today's prompt was "More Than Survive"! I think I might continue this one, because I really love writing from Madeline's POV—she really deserves more love ~~also yes i realize this is way more than a drabble but i really loved this idea~~

Madeline takes a deep breath, then steps onto the school bus, navigating to the back row of seats. Immediately, whispers pop up all around her, about “she’s such a slut” and “why would Jake Dillinger choose _her._ ” She pulls herself in closer, clutching the fabric of her favorite, really nice, fluffy pink sweater in an attempt to comfort herself.

It’s all because of that stupid party. And stupid Jake. And to think, he used to be her friend!

So Jake invited her to his party over the weekend, right? Madeline showed up of course, because they’re neighbors and childhood friends and Jake’s parties are usually pretty cool despite her being a natural introvert. Soon Jake was drunk out of his mind and being extra cuddly with her, but that’s nothing new, he always gets like that after drinking; she just laughed it off and enjoyed the feeling of him being comfortable enough with her to do that kind of thing.

But what was new was him leaning across the pool table they were standing by to kiss her. Hard. 

Madeline jerked back, shocked, because one, she’s a lesbian, an _arospec lesbian_ at that, and two, she thought they were close friends and nothing else! But turns out Jake had romantic feelings for her? She felt completely betrayed—Jake attempted to stutter something out, righting himself after Madeline’s abrupt pulling away, but Madeline pushed him back and hurried away from Jake’s house, heart hammering against her chest. If that’d been it, she’d’ve eventually brushed it off as Jake being too drunk to know what he was doing—I mean, god knows how many stupid things he’s done under the influence.

But it didn’t stop there! Oh, no: Jenna Rolan, who’d been at the party, just _had_ to share it all over social media! And not even the true story! _Apparently_ Madeline had told Jake “I’ll have sex with you if you beat me at pool!” and lost, _deliberately,_ leading to Madeline dragging Jake away by the hand to have hot and steamy sex in his parents’ bedroom—and everyone either believed it or just went along with it despite the fact that Madeline’s long been out as a frayromantic lesbian. About the only thing accurate about that was the pool table, but they weren’t even playing a game of it, let alone against each other. Then of _course_ her classmates had to send her cruel messages slutshaming her, which, very cool, guys, loving the misogyny. Again, if it’d stopped there, it’d be, well, still not great, but she’s been working on not caring about what her classmates think. Except Jake _didn’t even defend her._

Like, what the hell? They’re _friends,_ or at least they were, until Jake decided that the clout from having another hookup under his belt was worth more than defending his old childhood friend. And to think, she thought that they actually _had_ something.

Which brings her to now. Pulling her beanie down over her ears and letting the soft Hayley Kiyoko music float through her earbuds. Trying to be fine, and cool, and _chill,_ instead of dwelling on the past weekend.

That plan starts to crumble as soon as she gets to her locker. Chloe Valentine, queen bee of the school, is standing by her locker, along with Brooke Lohst, her much sweeter second-in-command, and Jenna Rolan, school gossip. Madeline usually tries to take as long as possible walking to her locker by taking a detour to the French classroom, so that by the time she gets there, the Cool Girls have left; but looks like it didn’t work today.

“So!” Chloe says, leaning effortlessly against the locker. Honestly, she’s really hot, despite how much Madeline hates her—I mean, look at her in those crop tops. She literally has the beginnings of _abs._ “Jenna Rolan here said Madeline Durand told Jake, ‘I’ll only have sex if you if you beat me at pool!’ And then she _lost_ at pool. _Deliberately._ ”

Yeah, yeah, we already know the spiel, nice of you to rehash the story for anyone who’s been living under a rock.

_Not._

These are the moments that make Madeline forget why she would totally be up for fucking Chloe.

“Oh my god, that is so awesome,” Brooke says, and Madeline does a double-take in the middle of putting her textbooks away.

Awesome? _Brooke Lohst,_ calling her, Madeline Durand, _awesome?_ For something she didn’t even _do?_

But her surprise (and ever-so-slight elation) dies a quick death as Chloe snarls, “ _Brooke!_ ”

Brooke’s expression crumples; she looks like a kicked puppy. “I mean...slutty?”

“Oh, oh! And _then,_ ” Jenna jumps in, seizing her chance, “Madeline was all like—”

Chloe slams her locker shut, and Jenna jumps back. “Honey, _I’m_ telling the story. So shut your trap.” She looks up, and when Madeline subtly follows her gaze, she sees this scrawny-looking kid in a blue cardigan and glasses, who looks absolutely terrified once he seems to realize Chloe’s spotted him. “Oh my god, he is totally getting off on that,” Chloe says, sauntering away with Brooke and Jenna right on her heels. She tosses her hair over her shoulder, along with an “Ugh, our school is filled with such _creeps._ ”

Madeline finally breathes, relaxing her shoulders, which she only just realized were tensed. Until they stiffen up again when Glasses Kid accidentally bumps into none other than Rich Goranski, five foot two inches of insanity and (probable) daddy issues, as he tries to push through to his locker.

“Don’t touch me, tallass!” Rich growls, which Madeline honestly finds a little absurd because Glasses Kid isn’t even that tall. 

“Sorry!” Glasses Kid squeaks, and Madeline decides to make a break for it before things get ugly.

Darting down the hall, she only slows down when she’s out among the sea of other students. She sees Christine Canigula, one of her friends, and waves, going over to her. Christine is a ball of energy, especially today—she’s been going on about how today is the first rehearsal for the winter play.

“Hey!” Madeline says. Christine’s wearing her favorite dress today, the bright green one with the smiling white flower. “Play rehearsal starts today, right?”

“I signed up as soon as I got here,” Christine says, beaming. “Are you gonna do it this year?”

“I don’t think so,” Madeline admits. “Theater isn’t really my… _thing._ ”

She tried it once and only once, last year, because Christine was literally begging her and how could she say no? But basically she was hyperventilating inside the whole time, so maybe trying again isn’t the best idea—she already has enough anxiety as it is.

“Oh, all right,” Christine sighs. She glances at her watch—light pink, with Hello Kitty on the face—and jolts. “Sorry, I need to go, Mr. Thompson is literally the Stalin of English lit and—”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Madeline says, half-laughing as Christine hurries off, stopping to say something to Glasses Kid, whose limbs seem to lock up before he stutters something out and practically runs away. Madeline manages to spot the word “boyf” on his backpack in Rich’s thick handwriting before he rounds the corner.

At lunch, Madeline sits at the corner of the table with the theater kids, next to Christine, keeping her head down and picking at her lunch as musical references fly back and forth and gossip about “that slut Madeline who fucked Jake” floats over the cafeteria.

Is that really all she is? “That slut Madeline who fucked Jake”? Will people look at her and not see the girl who does photography and painting, the girl who’s writing a book of nature and aromantic poetry, the girl who’s trying to learn French to connect to her heritage? Is she just “that slut”?

Meanwhile:

“I see your ‘Sing to Me Instead’ as Tree Bros, and I raise you: ‘Sing to Me Instead’ as Trevor/Cary,” this kid named Kate starts, before being cut off by a shout of “Gay!”

Madeline looks up, and sees Rich—typical. Just _typical._ I mean, the school bully _has_ to be homophobic, right? Glasses Kid is standing by the sign-up sheet for the school play, face bright red, pen falling from his hand to dangle on the bit of yarn it’s attached to as the group of popular kids laugh. And Chloe, in a stupid attempt to seem not homophobic (a bit late for that, don’t you think?), adds, “I like gay people.”

Aw, thanks.

_Not._

Madeline thumps her head on the table.

God, she can’t wait for this day to be over.


End file.
